Baloney Press suggests that we send the NHL to Iraq. I don’t know about that but I would be willing to send the NBA. I mean, it couldn’t be much more dangerous in Baghdad than it is in Denver, especially in light of the fact that Julius Hodge was shot this weekend. Sending hundreds of men who are all over 6 feet 5 could have a sobering, even intimidating effect on the Iraqi people. Teach them to shoot baskets instead of each other.

Since the Iraqi people are having trouble forming a government, maybe we could send them ours. Since most of our government voted for the Iraq war to begin with, it would only make sense for them to have to roll up their sleeves and get a little dirty trying (keyword: trying) to put the country back together again. And we could put together a new government. After all, we have an election coming up in a few months. It’s just an idea.

Maine Democrats suggests that we need a new war, and that our criterion for choosing a target this time should be based on which country makes the best desserts. Wouldn’t that put the French in the crosshairs? I think we’ve been doing a pretty good job so far of picking opponents. It seems to be based on which country has the least capability of fighting back. It worked in Afghanistan and Iraq. Using that criterion, France might make an ideal target, if they didn’t already have nuclear weapons (weapons of mass destruction.) That, however, could be the perfect rationale for going to war with the French: rid their country of weapons of mass destruction. What is the threat? The French are the main opponents to our policy of pre-emptive war. If their ideas spread to, say, the Brits, then we wouldn’t have anybody else on our side, not that we really care. But we could liberate the French people from these dangerous ideas. Everyone knows that a rational discussion of the issues often leads to peace. We can’t have anybody telling us who we can attack and who we can’t, so let’s attack the French. We could shut them up once and for all.

Tags: Bush, Iran, war, France, peace, NBA, NHL, politics, Julius Hodge, Iraq,

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